Had to get through the whole questioning paternity (even had the BALLS to question the pregnancy?!?) negativity that was invading this pregnancy with the gentleman no, I dare say not the gentleman, the mammal who chose to release his baby juice into me without permission or warning. Growing up in the South, there are some things about me that are quite old fashioned. First of all, I do NOT hand it out like candy, and I have instructed and mentored many of my female friends not to do the same. Being accused of such strikes in me an angry tone, having been one who is relatively chaste in comparison to many of my peers. So I move on. I proceed with this condition, which is teetering on being an event, without the "baby daddy" by my side. Over the last two weeks I have felt the negative energy wash away and my soul cleansed of that anger and badness.
Here is a point that struck me in these interactions; after making said point I shall veer away from addressing it much at all. If I happened to be one of those women who did hand it out like candy, I also happen to choose gentlemen to date. I daresay that if I had been with 3 different men, all of whom had irresponsibly spilled their seed into me, and if I had told each and every one of them the entire situation and the impending new life on its way (remember that this is a hypothetical with the men that I tend to date, not the one in question), if you gathered the last three men that I dated, each and every one of them would have stood up and been by my side throughout the entire thing. Been emotionally and financially supportive; while perhaps not wholly enthusiastic, and ridden out the entire nine to ten months waiting on a verdict. Perhaps I am too optimistic about my mate selection; but I believe that would be the case. It just seems that this time I chose poorly.
So what is there to do but to move forward for the sake of this child. Reach out to my friends and family for the love that they share for me and for the world and create an amazing being!
And so, my village…welcome.
