Man I miss Ambien...

So many things I can live without.  I had lived with very little sleep most of my life until I discovered my precious Ambien...so much for that!  Chalk that up to another thing I can't do.  I have been told; however, that soon enough I will be exhausted enough where it won't be necessary....whoopee....

Funny, someone asked about the possibility of "termination" tonight, I totally thought she was going to say "adoption", hmm...do we really ask virtual strangers about that at a company function?  I know it's a long time past my debutante days but pretty much, I think probably not. 

Yes, I'm grumpy and ill prepared for this entire scenario and aliens have taken over my body; but me and my village gotta stick around to see this alien that somehow managed to defy all odds and take over my being.  Thinking of sending mom and dad the little ditty, can't really come up with another way to tell em...

This whole thing is a big pain in the ass....yes.  But in life, you gotta take it all, wrap it up and figure out a way to laugh.

Okay...how do I tell my parents again?

I have a bit of news to share
I couldn't say out loud
I hope you will be happy and
I hope that you'll be proud

You see I had a slip up
As oft times people do
Last week I peed upon a stick
And both lines turned bright blue.

Less Bitter, Minute by Minute...but it'll come back

This is really real.  It's really happening.  Although I can read the statistics that women over 35 are 20% more likely to miscarry, I also read the stats that say that I would have a hard time getting pregnant, not with one shot at 38 with a man recovering from testicular surgery.  So when do I break the news and to whom?  I mean, it's not like I'm going to "do something" about it beyond giving birth eventually to the alien inhabiting my body.  I've told a few people...who is most important though?  My parents, whose dream has always been for me to have a child, even in the last few years expressing that they didn't even care if I was married or if I had a black baby (mind you, this is NOT in any way to be construed as a racial slur, I am a debutante from a Southern family where that level of acceptance is gradually peering out over the generations).

One potential line I have thought of:

"Hey, guess what?  I'm first in line for the H1N1 vaccine!"

Took a glance at the so-called description of what this alien looks like at 6 weeks, it's damn ugly.  Giant head, tiny little alien worm.

Maybe it'll get cuter than that.

In the meantime all this hooty tooty "pregnancy is such a wonderful gift" B.S. is going to drive me insane once I formally come out of the closet with this one.